So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
