i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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