i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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