The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
