I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
