I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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