2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
