take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Rumble strips road head = magical
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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