i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
