She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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