Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
