all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
