I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
