mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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