I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
