after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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