I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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