So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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