Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
