I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I need moral support for this bender
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize