so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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