This girl is more easily done than said...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
