they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
