i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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