I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
