I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
