Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
