I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
