How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
