My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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