when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
