pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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