Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
