dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
