Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
