so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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