That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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