I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
