chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
