i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
