you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
