I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
