you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
