if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The air was thick with penises
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
