I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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