That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize