I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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