I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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