: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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