i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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