their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
