watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Randomize
