the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
