whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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