VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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