He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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