he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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