I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
