i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
