That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
