you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
