before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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