i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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