Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
