I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
