Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
