You work out of a Hotel?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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