summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
