Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
