she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
