We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
