god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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